The Emotional Rollercoaster of Trying to Conceive: You're Not Alone

Trying to conceive can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. Month after month, hope rises, only to be followed by disappointment. You're living your life week to week and counting down the days post ovulation starting from day one. Trying to conceive was exciting...at first, but now the physical and emotional fatigue are kicking in. You're tired, just plain tired.

If you're experiencing this whirlwind of emotions, know that you are not alone. In this post, we will explore effective ways to navigate the overwhelm of trying to conceive.

Understanding the Emotional Landscape of Trying to Conceive

Starting the journey to conception often brings a flood of emotions. Often we're starting off with excitement and a few nerves, but after month 3, 4, 5, pass, different emotions start creeping in. Grief, stress, and anxiety are common and valid. Each cycle can ignite hope, and when hopes are dashed, the grief can be overwhelming. It's amazing how quickly we start envisioning our future if this cycle was the lucky cycle. We form an attachment to the egg we're begging to implant, even in just 14 days. And when it's gone, it feels like an immense loss every time.

Isolation compounds these feelings. Trying to conceive is a vulnerable journey and it's difficult to predict how people will respond if you chose to share your experience. This often leads to choosing not to share, and while this is often a good decision in some relationships, it can lead to feeling disconnection from support. This is partly why identifying your support system is a priority in prenatal therapy.

The Stress of Uncertainty

The uncertainty surrounding conception can be incredibly stressful. You may find yourself obsessively tracking your cycle, interpreting every symptom, and analyzing ovulation signs. This is often costly, both emotionally and financially.

And then of course comes the advice to "just stress less." Gee, thanks, hadn't thought of that. Thankfully, there are specific tools to help you cope with the anxiety that comes with uncertainty, and exploring these is another priority in prenatal therapy.

Processing Grief and Disappointment

Each cycle that comes and goes without a baby feels like a loss, and it’s important to create space for grief. Grief can show up in various forms, including anger, anxiety, intense sadness, or even guilt and shame. Unfortunately, these emotions tend to increase our isolation and decrease our trust in our bodies. Not to mention the tendency to compare our grief to others. "Their loss was worse than this."

When trying to conceive, there is so much benefit to having a space to process these emotions without comparison. This chips away at shame and isolation, giving you increased ability to extend yourself self-compassion.

Seeking Therapy for Support

As the emotional ride continues, seeking professional help can be so helpful. Therapy specifically aimed at infertility is designed to help women cope with the emotional burden of trying to conceive. Counseling can provide a safe space to express your feelings without any judgement and help you learn effective coping mechanisms to allow you to move through your grief and anxiety.

Participating in prenatal therapy can also provide important mental health support as you prepare for pregnancy. These sessions allow you to unpack feelings of anxiety, fear, and pressure in a constructive environment, helping you gain clarity and a sense of control over your emotions.

The Power of Support while Trying to Conceive

Trying to have a baby can be an emotional rollercoaster, and it’s completely okay to feel confused, lost, excited, and exhausted all at the same time. Acknowledging your feelings can actually help you feel more in control. Just know that it’s normal to mix hope, sadness, worry, and stress during this journey. You're not alone in this experience, and you're not alone in feeling the need for additional support.

Embrace the strength of your community by connecting with friends, family, or professionals who can offer support during your journey to conceive. Seeking additional support from a prenatal therapist can help you release the mental and emotional burden of the trying to conceive period. It is 100 percent normal and okay to feel overwhelmed AND with additional coping skills, we can reduce that overwhelm and increase your confidence as you continuing trying.

What to Expect in Therapy for Trying to Conceive and Infertility

Initial Assessment and Goal Setting

Therapy will start with an initial assessment that includes discussing about your medical and mental health history, current challenges, and space for you to share your story. You might discuss your experiences with fertility treatments, any previous pregnancies, and how all of this has affected you emotionally. Together, you'll set some therapeutic goals that match your needs and desires—whether that’s managing anxiety, improving communication with your partner, or just navigating the emotional whirlwind of fertility treatments.

Emotional Support and Validation

One of the biggest benefits of therapy for those trying to conceive is the emotional support and validation it provides. The journey can be packed with feelings of grief, loss, frustration, and isolation. A therapist creates a safe space for you to express these emotions without any judgment. This kind of validation is key in coping with the trying to conceive period.

Coping Strategies and Skills Development

Therapy will also focus on equipping you with effective coping strategies to tackle the stress and anxiety that often come with trying to conceive. We may discuss mindfulness techniques, relaxation exercises, or cognitive-behavioral strategies to help you improve your relationship to your thoughts, your body, and your emotions in general. These skills will help you ride the emotional waves of trying to conceive.

Communication and Relationship Dynamics

Infertility can really put a strain on relationships, especially between partners. Therapy can help facilitate open communication, allowing partners to express their feelings, fears, and hopes in a constructive way. Couples may learn to support each other better, navigate tough conversations, and strengthen their emotional bond. This part of therapy can be key, as a solid partnership can help buffer against the stress of infertility.

Interested in exploring prenatal therapy?

Prenatal therapy may be a good fit for you if:

• You're feeling overwhelmed by emotions

• Anxiety is starting to rule your life

• You're struggling with feeling isolated and unsupported

• You're craving a place to process your grief

• The idea of feeling empowered in this process feels too good to be true

If any of these sound like you, reach out today for a free 15 minute consult call. I'd be honored to hear your story.

All the best,

Lauren Spencer, MS, LMFT

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